As soon as we arrived in Granite Falls, I gave Elder the kiss I’d been saving for him all day. This was an Ace-of-Cups kiss and then some!
While he went inside to shower, I headed out to the back of the cabin to inhale the perfume of pine.
Ah, Granite Falls! It’s quickly become my favorite place!
When I was here just a few weeks ago, I’d been so lovelorn. I was caught in that web of feeling that I could never let Elder know how I really felt. And it was being up here–breathing this clean air and just being out here where I felt so free–that allowed me to let go of my feelings in that email to him.
And the funny thing was that after I sent that email, I really did feel free. When I hit send, I released all expectations. I didn’t think ahead to “will he answer me” or “what will he think” or “should I have sent it.” None of that. I let go so that, as my dear friend Peyton would say, I could let come. Let come whatever may, and look what came!
I could still hardly believe it.
When Elder joined me out back, I could hardly believe him! He’d combed out his Mohawk!
“Where’s your beautiful Mohawk?” I asked.
“I couldn’t find the right hair products,” he said. “I’ve been looking for something organic, non-GMO, shade-grown, fair trade, preferably with a co-op distribution model. And nothing. It’s all made of chemicals and distributed by multinational corporations.”
“You look like a God without it,” I said. “But maybe sometimes you’ll wear it again, just for old-times’ sake. Maybe if my herbalism skills get good enough, I can brew up some natural hair gel.”
It felt amazing to be alone together.
We could be as corny as we wanted without getting embarrassed.
I serenaded him while he was watching cooking shows and he said, “Stop! Beautiful romantic music while I’m watching chefs prepare Monte Cristo sandwiches! It’s too much of too many good things!”
Later, when I was out identifying the wildflowers behind the cabin, he followed me out.
“I want to ask you something else,” he said. And he swallowed.
What could he want to ask that made him look so serious?
Actually on his knees, like they do in the movies. Like they do in all the romance novels. Like they do in the legacies. Maybe even like his father did for his mother, and his grandfather for his grandmother before him.
Now, I’ve never been one who’s been into weddings. I’ve never wanted to be a wife. I’ve never wanted to be a mother. I’ve always wanted to live freely, in a big house with my friends.
And here is this guy, who’s a whole library all in himself to me, the whole universe, this Big Love, Ace of Cups, gorgeous God of a guy who looks like a prince.
And he’s on his knees.
And I’ve been in love with him since the moment I first saw him.
And I never, ever, once dared to dream that he and I might have a life together.
And it’s the one thing I’ve wanted so much, even more than I’ve not wanted to be a wife.
And here he is, on his knees. For me.
Of course I’ll marry him! Heck, it’s an Ace of Cups love! It’s the start of everything big and wonderful and spiritual and intuitive and evolutionary!
Surrounded by all of that, being a wife will be like being free. Or so I hope.
At any rate, I’ll be with him.
“Love’s free,” he said. “You’ve got my heart in your hands, and you always have. And you’re holding my heart with open palms, so tenderly. I came back to you because you let me go. You loved me so much, you let me leave to go to Desert Leaders and find out what I wanted. Now I know. I’ve always wanted to be with you, and to be a part of your big free household. So that’s why I came back, because that’s where my freedom lies.”
“How did you know I loved you with open palms?” I asked.
“I could feel it,” he said. “That’s how I love you, too. And how I always will. Marriage won’t change that.”