We spent our days at Granite Falls jogging through meadows, throwing horseshoes, sitting at the fire, eating cobbler, sleeping in our double bed, and, once, discovering the bed’s other purpose. (Yes, it’s all that. All it was promised to be and more.)
It was really fun to play house.
It felt liberating to be able to express our affection openly any time we wanted without worrying about someone walking in on us and turning our intimate moment into an awkward moment.
After a few days, we started thinking of home. I wondered if the sink was broken again, and if it was, who would fix it. Had anyone thought to keep the fridge full of left-overs for Tani? Was Gray getting to work on time, and were Emma and Alex coming home after work before it got late and they got exhausted? Had Forrest remembered to tend the garden?
Elder said that when he’s in our big home, he feels so much friendship that he can’t stop smiling.
“I fell in love with the whole package when I fell for you,” he said. “You and your roomies and that big old house. I think it’s time for us to head home so I can get to know the rest of them.”
I felt a thrill when I heard him say “home” and realized he now considers my home his.
We bought a double bed, and we moved it into the east bedroom. This is the new favorite napping spot.
Elder and I have been keeping different hours from the rest of the household, and that’s worked out well. Our bed’s been empty when we’re ready to use it.
I’ve been watching the way Elder maintains his space. Unlike me, he has defined personal boundaries. I tend to let my boundaries blur–I’m never sure where my space ends and another’s begin, and it’s the same with feelings, too. Are these my feelings, or are they Tani’s? Or Alex’s? Or Emma’s?
I open up my space, and someone always wanders in to give me a hug.
The house is my space, and so of course I share it freely with everybody who lives in it!
But Elder seems to know where he begins and where he ends.
That’s one of the things that draws me to him.
Because his boundaries are so clearly defined, I can get close to him without feeling like I’m going to lose myself.
And that lets me open up in ways I never could otherwise. With Elder, I can be as close as I want and I’m still me.