Reflections from S-GAS Transformation Session – Beyond Coding: What is at Our Core
Participant: Leonora Alves-Rivera
(Leonora’s words transcribed by SunnyShay)
Leonora: How does a Sim find inner peace in the midst of the chaos?
Young Cathy Tea: What do you mean by chaos? Can you describe what it feels like to you?
Leonora: Well, what I mean is that it’s not so much an external chaos but rather an internal one.
My design leads me to have all of these wishes and aspirations that are impossible to fulfill when you’re responsible for running a household and guiding young children in hopes of creating decent, functioning…beings. I often ask myself “what’s the point?”
No matter how hard I try to put things in its proper place, something always fall out.
And what happens when your wishes are at odds with your aspirations? When I first stepped out of the CAS and onto a lot, all I could think of and work toward was being a successful children’s book writer. Now, all I wish for are to make babies and occasionally paint. I still have the aspiration but rarely do I have the wishes that align with it.
And now my eldest children are not even children now. My husband is a few weeks from being elderly and after that he’ll be gone at any given moment. I’ll still have three children but eventually they’ll be gone.
They won’t need me and I’ll be back at that bungalow, alone and half toward elderly myself.
I can’t see myself writing about chocolate rain forest and candy mountains once my life gets to that point. When he’s gone, my purpose is gone.
I suppose I can sum all this up better by saying: I came into this existence knowing my purpose was to be matriarch and this I’ve more than accepted. It’s a badge I bear proudly. But how can I find inner peace knowing that everything my life is centered on will come to an end?