Participant: Kimber Brumfield
Project Report: 1.1
Project Goal: File initial report, find employment
Good Outgoing Genius, Neat Perfectionist, Bro
Aspiration: Chief of Mischief
Would you like to change your aspiration?
NO! No, thank you. I am quite content to fulfill the destiny that has been charted for me, but if you feel that it would be more beneficial for the ongoing good and highest whatever benefit of all involved, then I certainly would be willing to over your dead body. Note to self: remember to delete deleted stuff before hitting submit.
Summary of Events: First off, I would like to
thank you sincerely thank you, with my deepest gratitude, for selecting me to participate in this project. I realize, as I’m sure you do, too, that I am far from worthy, but I will do my utmost to fulfill this honor that has been bestowed on me. Blah!
That said, let me proceed with the summary: got the job, went to work, mission accomplished.
Next Steps: Get a promotion? Pursue aspiration. Watch sports (if time allows, of course, and with the coordinator’s permission to indulge in such frivolous activities). Skill. Lots and lots of skilling.
I’ve got the look down. Innocent. Not too smart, average. Your typical next-door-neighbor. It’s surprising how often it works.
But then, of course, what you see is what you get. Who would expect more?
I actually feel happy to get this job. Business. It’s the perfect field for me.
So what if I start out in the mailroom? I can still fill out reports, and that’s what business is all about!
Did I hit send? Did I, really? Oops.
Some secrets are meant to be BCC’d to the entire corporate recipient list!
But seriously, I would never do that! Why would I?
How could I? I’m just the new mail clerk, working in the mailroom. I don’t have access to top-level files!
And if anyone asks, I don’t really know how to use computers!
Oh, is this where I open my email program? I didn’t realize!
And what are all these little pictures that look like file folders? Is that a game of some sort?
Works every time!
I’m just your average girl next-door, who works in the mailroom and happens to love ice cream.
Ooooh! It’s so yummilicious! (See? Typical girl-next-door vernacular!)
It’s especially good when you add the secret ingredient–and no! I’m not telling what it is!
It makes a great breakfast, happy hour cocktail, and before bed nightcap, and that’s all that matters!
If I work out hard enough, I can have ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and still look like this.
I’ve gotta keep up my appearances if I want to be able to charm my way into the hearts of all my new neighbors.
We all know how important it is to get our beauty rest–that’s why I’m in bed by 10:00 p.m. every evening.
Nothing like the sleep of angels to make you wake up perky and ready for a new day!
Of course I don’t mind living alone in this cozy starter home. I like it that way. Of course I’m grateful to be in this project. It gives a girl a chance, right? Sure, I don’t mind working as a mail clerk. A girl’s got to start somewhere, and starting at the bottom just builds character, right? That’s what Gramps says, anyway. Good old Grandpa, fictional character number 42 of my backstory.
It doesn’t matter. I know you’re reading this. Nothing is ever private. Secrets never last.