Life feels very random to me. Things happen, and I can’t link them together. I can’t find cause, only reel from the effects.
You might just watch, without analysis, and then, through time, patterns may emerge which point towards meaning. When that happens, you see that nothing is truly random.
This valley, even in all its beauty, hides in a mist of eeriness. Nothing is straightforward. Nothing is simple. I wonder what I’m doing here.
Something terrifying happens: more of the randomness, and completely senseless.
I hear noise in front of the house. Jin Anjali, our new roommate, runs out with me to see a figure in a black hood rise from the earth.
“Oh, not the Countess!” shrieks Jin. “Countess Snypes! Get up!”
A figure glowing with red embers curls in a fetal position.
She rises. I hope for a moment that she’ll be OK, that I can save her.
Her eyes are two spots of light. I avert my gaze from the red glow where her heart should be.
She shakes the hand of the hooded one.
“No,” whimpers Chauncey. I look away, afraid to be a witness.
And now we have a grave in the front lawn.
“How can a vampire have a grave?” I ask Jin, who seems to know everything. “Aren’t vampires already undead?”
Jin shakes her head. “It’s not like undead means immortal.”
But that’s exactly what I thought it did mean.
Jin is our new roommate. I have no idea how that happened. Chauncey decided that he was too good to be a roommate and needed to have his name on the lease. He knows the landlord. But then, since he was no longer a roomie, he decided we needed a new one to take his place, and now we have Jin.
They fight all the time.
Right now, Jin is yelling at Chauncey because he’s a bookworm. He overlooks her insults. She’s a witch, and he told me that she is the coolest person in the valley.
That still doesn’t give her the right to be rude.
We attend a costume party at Rainflower’s house.
I go all out and wear a dress, a choker, and face paint. It’s Spooky Day, and I want to look magical.
“That green stuff on your face looks like a bunch of ants marched through pea soup and then walked all over you while you were sleeping in a crypt,” Jin says.
“I think she looks nice,” says Chauncey.
Snow falls. More randomness continues. My garden lies dormant. I can’t imagine spending the winter cooped up inside with Jin and Chauncey.
I’m heading to university, even if my skills aren’t that high and I’ve got hardly any money.
Take the aptitude test. See if you earn a scholarship.
I take the aptitude test, giving it my best shot.
To my surprise, I earn a partial scholarship and enter with distinctions in the fine arts major.
I’m going to college.
I’ve wanted this for so long.
I tell Chauncey to look after the place, pack up my few belongings, and head out to catch the van to the airport.
Through the rear window, I look back at my little house, at the edge of town. Jin and Chauncey are out in front, waving goodbye.
I watch my home and all the confusion around it grow smaller and smaller. Life still feels really random.
Hang in there, dearheart. You have all of life ahead of you, plenty of time for the world and those in it to begin to make sense.