Name: Tazer 1541Z (Is that a cool handle? Mom says never use real name on anything online.)
Select your age bracket: Under 15
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Profession: Doy. Didn’t we just establish that I’m a kid? Kids don’t have professions. They’re kids!
How many pen pals are you interested in acquiring? I don’t know. How many is a lot? I’m pretty busy. I’ve got my brother who always tells me to do stuff, and I’ve got school, and I’ve got investigations. How about two? Or three? You decide.
What qualities do you seek in a pen pal? Um. OK. So here’s what you need to know about me. I may be nine, but I’m smart. My teacher says I read at tenth-grade level. So that means, I don’t want a pen-pal who will write to me like I’m six. And I really don’t want another kid my age, because, let’s face it. I don’t really get other kids sometimes, and they don’t really get me. Except for Max. So. How about someone really old? Like 90 or 15 or something. That way I can learn from life! I don’t really care, as long as they don’t boss me around or write down to me.
Do you have a desire to meet your pen pal face-to-face? Hello! Did you catch that I’m a kid? Don’t you know anything about Internet Safety? Never meet in person anybody you meet online! Doy! My brother would kill me. He’s like super protector dude.
Please describe, in as much detail as possible, your reason for wanting to join the pen pal project: So. I want to see the world. But I can’t because I live in the City and we don’t have a lot of money. I mean, we’ve got enough money that we can eat and we have an apartment, unlike some of my friends who sleep in cardboard in the alleys. They’re not kids. They’re grown-ups. Charles, and Rocket, and Peter. They’re nice. And they really don’t have any money. But we always give them some. Plus I buy them vendor food.
Anyway, like I was saying, I want to see the world.
I figure, if I can’t see it, I can read about it.
And what better way to read about it than through people who’ve lived it?
Like, I know about the City. But maybe my pen pal knows about the country! So my pen pal can tell me all about the country, and I’ll tell all about the City.
For example, I live in a really tall building in the Art District. We live on the top floor, and we’ve got to take an elevator!
Before I walk to school, I always run down to the square to get breakfast. It’s like it’s our living room or something. All the vendors know me. Sometimes they give me food for free, and sometimes they put it on Mom’s tab and sometimes I pay. It depends on if I have a quarter.
I know I said I wanted to see the world, but that doesn’t mean I want to live anywhere else. I think where I live is just right. It’s the best place.
Have you ever had an experience where you feel like you are right smack in the center, and you feel sort of warm and happy and peaceful all at once? That’s how I feel when I’m in the City.
So, that’s my world, and if you’re my pen pal, I will tell you all about it. And then you can tell me all about your world, and it will almost be like, for that exact moment, that we’re living two lives!