It was a good thing that Xirra had me write my list. All-the-good-things saturated me, offering some protection for the bad things I would learn.
“Come then and listen,” she told me when I’d finished the list. “Don’t worry. Your brother can hear, too. We want him to know the truth.”
“And my pops?” I asked. Pops, tired from his trip last night, was taking a nap.
“Maybe not,” she said. “You can decide what he knows and when. I am not sure how his tender heart will bear what I have to say.”
Much of what she told me, I already knew, having sorted it out from the pieces I’d downloaded from them throughout the past several years, combined with what Pabatuotuo and Whisper shared.
The Kfvico’kyastorr are evil, breeding clones for body parts, enslaving others, colonizing the galaxy, invading, raping, destroying, polluting, clear-cutting their way through the universe.
“They aren’t evil,” Xirra said. “They are misguided. They took the old teachings and perverted them, and now they are lost. We don’t fight them because they are evil. We fight them because they are lost.”
“Find me!” shouted Octy. “Hide and seek! Olly, olly in come free!”
Xirra told me an old myth.
Salatiyu, salaliyu, a daspa foigoikwe, a dark worm, emerged from the depths of the universe, drawn by the golden light that surrounds cognizant beings. In the early times, the worm found plenty of light to lap up, and it grew fat and multiplied. Through the years, the beings learned evasive maneuvers, for they wanted to keep their light.
But the worm was crafty. The worm learned that if it inserted a piece of its teesko, its tail, in a being’s brain stem, the f’goinitskee, or worm-tail, tickled the being’s pleasure center. It felt good to have one’s light devoured.
Generations passed, and the worm-tail became a part of the biology–each new person was born with the f’goinitskee firmly lodged in place. And so, through the generations, the cognizant beings’ energy-light kept the predator-worm fat and happy.
The f’goinitskee began to morph, and as it did, it affected the behavior of the beings. Nothing was more important than them, and in particular, nothing was more important or more special to each being than that person him or herself! Only others like them had souls, so they believed. And each one believed that his or her own soul was the most special.
“And if a being is believed to have no soul, it ceases to be a being and becomes ‘thing,’ and ‘things’ can be used.”
“Are you saying it’s not the fault of the Kfvico’kyastorr?” I asked. “That they’re not to be held accountable for their actions because of the f’goinitskee?
“Oh, everyone is accountable for his or her own actions,” she replied. “Even the F’goinitskee have no excuse. The fault is one-hundred-percent predator, one-hundred-percent individual.”
Octavius ran off to play.
“It’s not just a myth, is it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “The Kfvico’kyastorr have been infected.”
“Wouldn’t it make sense to attack the predator?” I asked.
“In a sense, that is what we do. Most of our energy and all of our practices are focused around protecting ourselves. First, we need to wither the f’goinitskee. That can take years. Then we need to continue, with discipline, so that it doesn’t sprout anew.”
“Why don’t the Kfvico’kyastorr take up your practice?” I asked.
“They could. Some do. Not all who are born Worm-tails remain Worm-tails.”
I shuddered. I felt the strangest sensation running through me. It was as if each cell, each molecule had become awake, buzzing at high frequency, throwing off any heaviness, any density that had collected in me during our talk.
“Are you all right?” Xirra asked.
“Yobaska!” I groaned.
“Breathe,” she said. “Do you have the cone on? Remove it. Let it flow. It enters from the crown. Now let it flow through you.”
I stripped away the cone. For the first time in over a year, I let my energy flow freely.
“Keep breathing,” she said.
That high frequency vibration continued, until each molecule danced.
“Oh! You are glowing!” she said. “That predator doesn’t stand a chance around you!”
It was the strangest, most blissful feeling. I felt very whole, very alive, and at the same time, I felt I had no physicality, no actual body. I was pure energy, vibrating.
“Do you know your source?” Xirra asked.
I said I did. I could feel it in me. But she said that wasn’t what she was referring to.
“Not the source of your energy,” she said. “It’s clear you know that! The source of your container, your body, your cells. Do you know your original?”