Forgotten Art: Norman – Newt 1

A response to: Newt’s Profile


Hey, man.

I saw your profile on the Pen Pal Project.

Looks like we’ve got a lot in common. I’m running my dad’s business, too.

You know what that’s like: it’s great except when it’s not.


You ever wonder how much of your life is yours and how much was just handed to you with a note that said, “Take this, or else”?

Yeah. That’s pretty much it.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it is that I like to do. You know, apart from all that was handed to me on the silver platter I didn’t know enough to refuse.

I’ve been cooking. Do you cook? Living alone, I’m guessing maybe so. Unless you go out to eat. Which is cool.

Well, I’ve started cooking. Guess what? I like it!


I’ve got to be so freaking serious all day at the office, and that’s not really me, so I discovered that when I come home and immerse my senses into chopping, stirring, mixing, and tasting, it brings me out of that Srs Bsns mode. I always did like to play with my food.


I’m just not crazy about eating alone.

You ever look at the empty chair next to you and imagine who might be sitting in it?


Yeah. No. I don’t really have imaginary friends.

I think it’s cool that you’re doing this project because you have to, as part of your therapy.

I’m doing it to avoid therapy, frankly.

I’ve been heading down a road I’m not too crazy about. I started talking to my kid sister about it. I was thinking I was seriously messed up.

Then, my genius of a sister said something brilliant: “You’re not depressed, Norm. You’re lonely.

So this is me, trying not to be lonely.

Hey, it’s OK if you don’t want to be my pen pal. I’ll survive.

But I’m hoping you do. I could use to write to somebody who’s got so much in common with me.


Have a good day, or however the plum I’m supposed to end something like this.

Cheers, as my uncle likes to say.


Norman’s Next Letter >>